Imbecilic Nitwits Design Idiotic Acronym

The Public Interest Bulletin by the "1%" At Mehfil Restaurant in Raidurgam, Hyderabad

Breaking the Fourth Wall

As I was going through Lakdi-ka-pul in Hyderabad recently, I noticed something amiss. This particular stretch of road had been lodged in my memory because of a photograph I had taken two years ago (below). It held a curious Gandhian irony of a liquor outlet surrounded by khadi shops - Gandhi's vice & virtue in juxtaposition.

The one other place where these these two entities come into such close proximity is the fourth section of the Indian constitution's containing the 'Directive Principles of State Policy'. Article 43 of this section states that - "..the State shall endeavour to promote cottage industries..." which is closely followed by Article 47 which states that - "the State shall endeavour to bring about prohibition... of intoxicating drinks and of drugs which are injurious to health...".

Both these articles were included as Gandhian directives of instructions to the state. But while both are non-justiciable, it is apparent from popular fashion and excise revenue collections as to which entity is getting "prohibited" and which "promoted". The paradox comes a full circle when one realizes that the state assembly - an institution that is filled by patrons of both these establishments, is a stone's throw away.

My recent visit to the place though led to some mixed feelings. The facade of the building that housed the liquor and khadi shops had been demolished in a road widening exercise. What remained was the sliced-open carcass of the building. The floor above the shops used to be occupied by a shady hotel whose bathrooms where now open to public viewing from the street - they now quite literally were 'public toilets'. And one of the shops that sold the high-minded khadi cloth - the symbolic vestige of freedom movement, now had a hawker peddling the humble handkerchief. While the liquor shop itself was now an empty shell. The noble and the despicable had in the end met a similar fate - nostalgia and pleasure it seems are no match for the juggernaut of progress. On this road at least, morality gave way to the pragmatic.

Eternal Rest in Hyderabad

Place of Birth and especially the Place of Death are often neglected areas of macabre research. On the subject, the Philadelphia-born comedian W.C.Fields' cheeky yet candid suggestion for his own tombstone epitaph reads: 

"Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia." 

 

The decade old Microsoft X-Box 'Life is Short, Play More' advertisement (above) captures the trite 'Life is a Journey' expression literally. The emphasis is inadvertently not on on the actual elaborate scalar distance covered but the vector-geometric concept of displacement - the effective spatial journey covered in life to 'eternal rest'.

On page 8 of today's Time of India (Hyderabad version), an obituary message declared yet another beloved dog's passing away a year ago. The owners/family came out with not just the Date of Birth and Death of Death but also quite uniquely - the places of these events. Unlike the more popular human destination of Heaven and the significantly less trendy Hell, dogs apparently prefer a different place of 'Eternal Rest' - Hyderabad!

Trust, But Verify

Business transactions take place because the parties involved agree to act in good faith. This is an essential requirement for trade just as it is for most other human interactions. Placing faith in another is an endeavour that is fraught with perils. But that is the price of trust.

To emphasis India's approach policy toward Pakistan, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh often repeats former US President Ronald Reagan's Soviet-directed phrase - "Trust, but verify" . The phrase actually brings out the inherent vulnerability in the whole exercise of engaging 'the other'. The insurance industry actually factors this feeling of 'being taken for a ride' in calculating the Moral Hazard in a transaction.

This jeweller's ad on the back of a bus picks up on this notion of trust. It reads -
                   
                                 "Our Gold is as Pure as your Trust".

Thus placing the onus of the quality of their product on the customer's belief. The statement works just as well when the word 'Gold' is replaced by 'God'. All the religions willfully put their followers in that position of having to conduct their own self-appraisals in order to enjoy the benefits of their faith. Here, suspension of disbelief has to always occur first at the individual level.

The larger irony in the advertisement's message though is that while the benchmarking of gold itself as a metal of value to humans is an exercise in trust, still within that taken-for-granted trust - doubt persists on the details. And hence the phrase "Trust, but verify".

Return of the Doggone

Third year in a row, the spirit of Puppy (alias Canny) refuses to die on the pages of The Times of India.

Page 10 of the Hyderabad edition of The Times of India 

A familiar snout and poem.

2010: http://dinesh-aditya.blogspot.in/2010/05/doggone.html

2011: http://dinesh-aditya.blogspot.in/2011/05/doggone-strikes-back.html

Energetic Panel

This morning moving solely on an impulse for Ghee Idlis served at Purna Tiffins in Krishna Nagar, we started from my place at 10 and made our way through Film Nagar. There we were hit in the face by a colossal hoarding placed strategically on the foot-overbridge opposite the Film Nagar Cultural Centre/Club (FNCC). It was a campaign billboard for the upcoming elections to the FNCC. If ever there was a way to make sure your constituents memorized your face (and the faces of everyone of your proposed "energetic panel" in the order of their importance/portrait size), this was it.



After getting our quota of idlis, we headed back to base. But the traffic began to clog at Jubilee Hills Checkpost and sure enough it was because of the most common cause of traffic jams in Hyderabad - one Mr. Harish Rao. The protesters were fired up and we were filled up - no contest. So we took detour after detour and in due time got back.

I guess the common thread between the two experiences was politics. The Film Nagar Society membership costs upwards of Rs. 25 Lakh and has a waiting period of over 10 years and therefore their members-only annual elections are literally and allegorically "above the road" on which common people commute. The street protests by the Telangana activists on the other hand was very much "on the road".

Though the real common thread of it all is my undying affection for good food. Again, both literally and allegorically.

Duplicate Police

In Secunderabad today on the tiny traffic island between MG Road and RP Road, I came across a hoarding that stood out. There were around 50 faces neatly packed into tiny cells each looking stoically into the camera. The title at the top read -

WANTED
NAKILI / DUPLICATE POLICE

Looking at all those men holding black slates with illegible chalk marks, it could only mean that they were either failed Zilla Parishad school students or hardened criminals. And the message was from the police. So putting two and two together, we can deduce that the Secunderabad Police is looking to hire school dropouts into their "Nakili/Duplicate Police" force. Or their desperation to recruit has reached a stage where they are compelled to reach out to ordinary commuters stuck in the middle of traffic clogs to fill these vacancies.

On the other hand, it may simply be the case that the police can't handle the competition from petty criminals. Meanwhile the "real" police (traffic) continued to "serve" the citizens down the road by making the load in the commuters' pockets a little lighter.

Lighting Up The Lives

Hyderabad based Thrive Energy Technologies sells and distributes this LED portable home light, which has been one of the more visible LED lighting products around. To complete the brand building exercise they gave their product a fancy sounding name - "Accendo". And finally the great minds at Thrive came up with this disturbingly arsonist tagline -

LIGHTING UP THE LIVES
in Villages, Forests & Towns"

I own one of their lights (in photo), luckily though I escaped their pyromaniacal designs by simply living in a city.

Link:
http://www.thrive.in/led_lighting/led_home_lighting.htm

Xtra

ESPN is showing reruns of the American National Spelling Bee contest where kids have to spell some really tough words to win. This year for the nth time for whatever reason, it's yet another Indian-origin girl who won.

How is spelling a sport? What sort of a kid craves to participate in such a contest? Why does the judge ring a bell for each wrong spelling, instead of, say, whistle? - I do not know. But I do remember seeing a promo for an Indian version a few months ago on a sports channel. I guess the idea is that with such great spelling ability, these kids are set for big things in life. Not so, not in India.

India is really the only country in the world where people actually make good money for spelling/not spelling words (excluding Quentin Tarantino for 'Inglourious Basterds'). And they call themselves 'numerologists' here. These select individuals ply their trade by spelling simple words wrong. Initially it was limited to the vernacular language words written in Roman script, but now our specialists have gone international, by acquiring (read shedding) enough skills to go after English.

Our guys are the Picassos and MF Hussains of spelling, because if all you do is spell things correct then you are just not doing justice to your creative talent. Those spelling kids though still do have one advantage - they know the correct spellings and consequently are an authority on all the wrong ways to spell. This crucial knowledge could be their meal ticket.

Therefore here we have yet another exhibit of absolute genius from 'Eat Hyderabadi' in Himayatnagar. Notice how they carefully chose the letter X for repetition to give the customer that reassuring feeling of being really, really alone while performing "tiffin self-service".

Disclosure: Spell Check Used

Threat Perception

Today, on the roads I came across this evangelist's vehicle with a "for any prayer request" call sticker on its rear window. It also featured the following eerie verse from the bible (in upper case,bold and underlined in red!) :

"PREPARE TO MEET THY GOD"

With this disconcerting message stickered on the burly vehicle, it sort of felt like a direct threat to the safety and well being of fellow motorists and pedestrians who were to get in its way. And in the context, the prayer call request made more sense as one final opportunity to beg for mercy!

Thankfully I kept my distance and we parted ways without incident. Praise the Lord.

"Therefore thus will I do unto thee, O Israel: and because I will do this unto thee, prepare to meet thy God, O Israel. "
-Amos 4:12, Bible

Road Movie Links:
Duel: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duel_%281971_film%29
Death Proof: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Proof
Joy Ride: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joy_Ride_%282001_film%29

Doggone Strikes Back

Puppy (aka Canny) is back, at least in spirit. It has been a year since the last obituary and like clockwork the insert on page 10 of the Times of India (Hyderabad Edition) today again has the same eulogy, photo, contact details, breed, DoB and ofcourse the same DoD.

Consolation Capital

A couple of days ago at RTC X roads, I saw this vehicle with cutouts draping its exterior campaigning for Hyderabad to be made the "2nd capital", what that means is beyond me. Apparently this "movement to make Hyderabad the second capital of India" has been around for a while. I vaguely recounts someone saying Ambedkar supported it.

Will they then have the losers' parliament here? Think the logic here was straight forward: since Hyderabad's Charminar (Char =4, as we well know) has 3 more minars than Delhi's Qutub minar (Singular used here to signify the solitary minar) therefore it follows that...

J for Learner

Driving through Filmnagar this evening, found this brand new Tata Nano (dyslexic owner perhaps?) parked on the curb.

Now I know why they call it a Driving 'School'.

Appropriation

Clint Eastwood's 2006 World War II movie "Flags of Our Fathers" is about the significance of the raising of the first and second foreign flags on Japanese soil in a thousand years and how history gets recorded and relayed to suit the narrative. The movie revolves around Joe Rosenthal's iconic photograph (below) of the raising of the second American flag atop Mount Suribachi on the island of Iwo Jima, Japan and its use as a propaganda tool to raise money for the war efforts. It also shows the moral conflict that the soldiers in the photograph face when they realize that they are assigned the role of national heroes for the simple task of raising a flag while the erectors of the first flag went unrecognized because there were no inspirational photographs to go along with that event.

In this context, the artwork on the walls of the Khairatabad flyover in Hyderabad stands out. These are works commissioned by the municipal corporation which include a series of hand-painted murals meant to kindle a certain patriotic fervor among the commuters while stuck in traffic. One of these murals, named "Great History" is suspiciously similar to the Iwo Jima picture except for one major difference - the flag is here is an Indian one. The artist either does not have an issue with being unoriginal or is a master of irony.

Links:
Review: Flags of Our Fathers - http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071129/REVIEWS/71129001/1023
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raising_the_Flag_on_Iwo_Jima

Could It Be Murder?

Yesterday was a slow day at the office in the telugu language news media. And so it was that word of a heinous incident had come to their attention. A dead girl was found stuffed inside a suitcase placed in a busy area of the city.

I got a call in the evening urging me follow the electronic media's coverage of the incident. Apparently the stellar journalistic instincts of the TV9 news channel reporters had again kicked into high gear. They had finally found a story where they could fully flash their investigative brilliance.

Reporter starts her inquiry with the most probing of questions (the sensational coverage as narrated to me over the phone):


Reporter [already smug]: "Sir, do you think this is a case of murder?"

Cop [equal to the task]: "We cannot answer that question at this point. We have to conduct a complete investigation to know the full details of the incident"


Their next step might be to flash a 'lost & found' for the suitcase owner on the perpetual scroll, their motto after all reads - "for a better society". Keep watching meanwhile.

Link:
http://expressbuzz.com/cities/hyderabad/woman%E2%80%99s-dead-body-found-in-a-suitcase/195213.html
http://hindu.com/2010/08/04/stories/2010080461000500.htm

Never Before

Shopping season has descended on Hyderabad. In the ensuing hoopla there are some offers that you cannot refuse and others that you cannot understand. Here is a nominee for the second category.



Wonder how they manage to sell their stocks of decoupled footwear in the off-season without this offer. Mix & match perhaps?

Do You Trust?

The garment industry has to meet the customers' quality expectations and the expectations aren't always sky high in India if the price is right. That being the case, when it comes to underwear, the concept of seconds can still be dicey. None the less this peddler found brisk business on the footpath opposite the state secretariat in Hyderabad today.

Art Deco in Hyderabad

In Barkatpura, located next to the Employee's Provident Fund Office is an old well-maintained art deco building. The property is currently occupied so a closer look was not possible, but I managed to get this photograph of a mural on the exterior wall of the building on my cellphone. The year on it reads 1933 and appropriate for those times it depicts a Hindenburg-style airship, a giant ocean liner, an eiffel tower like structure and a skyscraper among other smaller industrial design elements.

Thank You for Calling Cherlapally

On May 11th, Radiant Info Systems announced that prisoners from the central jail at Cherlapally, Hyderabad were to be trained to handle BPO operations. The jail authorities finally had some positive news to share.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/India-to-get-first-BPO-behind-bars/articleshow/5919218.cms

What is probably either a CSR initiative or a cost-cutting move for the BPO company is seen by the British media as confirming something more sinister that they have kept alluding to from time to time. The British tabloids have reported for years that their citizens' information is not safe in the hands of Indian BPO workers and this adds to that narrative.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article7124634.ece
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/7715365/Call-centre-firm-to-employ-Indian-prisoners.html

In the quest for the least operating costs, the condemned possess a USP that can only be topped by slavery.

Doggone

Times of India, Page 12 (Hyderabad Edition), May 11th 2010:

Puppy's (alias Canny) "family" has placed this message in the Business section of Times of India today. So as not to mislead the readers, the family has been kind enough to mention Puppy's lineage/breed (Dachshund) and the precise date of birth.

Next they also inform the general public of some other items missing from their home since Canny's demise last year - they have apparently lost one light fixture from the house, someone has turned mute in the family and they have given up on finding good domestic help.